Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize