he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
