i'm signing you up for texting rehab
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
