marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
