i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
