I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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