All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
