i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.