you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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