At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
