u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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