i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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