on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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