I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
