Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
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