a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
smell my finger.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
