At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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