I seem to have left my pride at pride
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
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