Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You need a sexual gate keeper
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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