She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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