the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
This toilet bowl is my home.
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