Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
