he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize