I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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