nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
