Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
