I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize