Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
