my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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