i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
