He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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