Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
