So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize