My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
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