I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
