I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
