I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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