So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
