i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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