He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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