David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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