things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
