We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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