I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
