I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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