my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Every concussion has its silver lining
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
did you just send me my own nude
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
