he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
