How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Then you guys just all showered together...?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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