Do vagina's smell?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
