How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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