I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
