I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
