I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
