Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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