i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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