So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
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I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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