the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
