I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
